Going Solo

"My first-ever featured role in the company was as the soloist girl in Balanchine’s La Source. Rosemary Dunleavy was my repertory director, and I remember being surprised to be cast. I was a bit messy, but I was eager, and I feel grateful to the company for giving me a chance to showcase my talent and see what would resonate with the audience!

I sat in the audience and watched Justin Peck’s The Times Are Racing premiere while I was a student at SAB. That night, I knew I wanted to be a part of that ballet. A couple of Saratoga seasons ago, I debuted the pas de deux with my favorite person ever, [Principal Dancer] Taylor Stanley, and it was truly an unforgettable experience. I believe the first featured role I ever originated was in Justin’s Partita. Love those Reeboks we decided on.

My younger self certainly never imagined portraying a character as revered as the lead in Balanchine's La Valse. However, I’m gradually becoming comfortable with the fact that I may not always be right about myself. Building my confidence while acknowledging that I don’t have all the answers and clear paths to my career journey is important. I don’t need to be certain about everything all the time, but if someone else believes in me and sees potential in me that I may not yet recognize, I’m truly grateful. I’m delighted to continue growing within La Valse, and I’m curious to know if there will ever be a time when I feel completely satisfied with my contributions to that ballet."

"Dancing in Justin Peck's Belles-Lettres was a career highlight for me. Getting to dance alongside [Soloist] Brittany Pollack was such an ‘I made it’ moment. She is easily one of my favorite dancers, and I was surprised when I was cast in this ballet for my first featured role.

Being cast in Jerome Robbins' Interplay was a dream come true. I had first seen the ballet during an SAB Summer Course [field trip to the] Saratoga Performing Arts Center. Watching this ballet awakened my love of dancing with friends and fun. I'm honored to be one of the people who have danced this role.

Jamar Roberts' Water Rite was a difficult but fulfilling solo. It was challenging because it was made on Zoom; then Jamar told me he wanted me to perform this in the pool at Lincoln Center. Once it came to trying out the solo in the water, lots of turns and pushes became more labored and arduous. But Jamar, always accommodating, leaned into the splashing and made thrashing myself and making waves a fun time."

"My first featured role at New York City Ballet came sooner than expected: I was an apprentice, 17 years old, and called to learn William Forsythe’s Herman Schmerman. I was understudying principal and soloist dancers, and I felt like I was in way over my head. Just rehearsing alongside [Principal Dancers] Sara Mearns and Unity Phelan was terrifying—I was learning first-hand from my idols. It was surreal, and yet there I was, dancing one of the hardest ballets I’ve ever had the privilege of dancing. The audacity of youth or something! A week before opening night I was told by [Repertory Director] Rebecca Krohn that I would be performing it. With the first cast. It was shocking, and I honestly couldn’t tell you much about the week leading up to my debut. But I can tell you this: I fell within a minute of curtain that first night… and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I got to dance, as a somewhat unknown artist, with no expectations of me for an evening. A true underdog, with only love for the art form, admiration for the people I was sharing the stage with, and nothing to lose (I had already fallen, how much worse could it get?!). Forsythe asked me if I’d fall again the next show because he liked how it affected the audience. I didn’t, but I can honestly say that when I look back on that performance, I am very proud of it.

A ballet I’ve always dreamt of dancing at NYCB is George Balanchine's Rubies—specifically the 'Tall Girl.' I saw it for the first time as a student at the School of American Ballet. It was [Soloist] Emily Kikta’s debut and not to be dramatic or anything… it changed my life. It was one of the first times I had really seen someone onstage doing such powerful, feminine, and dynamic steps. The costumes reminded me of the very first leotard I had begged for. And the whole ballet felt like a challenge: how far can you push the limit? How high can you jump, how luxurious can you make a porte de bras, how high can your leg really go? It was exciting, and glorious, and I wanted to dance it. Fast forward a few years, and I finally got to debut the role. I don’t have any photos of the shows as it was on tour, so I hope you enjoy this photo of me in my first leotard instead. But that little girl with a dream was out on that stage just as much as the ‘Tall Girl’ with the crazy leg whacks and big jumps.

Solo by Justin Peck was the first time in my career that I was the only person onstage from curtain to curtain. It was originally choreographed and filmed on [Principal Dancer] Anthony Huxley during the pandemic and later performed by Sara Mearns. I had understudied it for a season, but a week before what would be my debut, I found out I’d be performing it. Five shows, just me. It was overwhelming, but I walked into the studio and got to work with [Repertory Director] Craig Hall. The first rehearsal didn’t go super smoothly… I was worried about being Anthony, or imitating him, and I wasn’t allowing myself to create my own story within the steps. I remember Craig reminding me, 'You’ll never be Anthony Huxley, and no one wants you to be.' That felt like the most freeing statement anyone could have made to me in that moment. Fast forward a few days, and I did my first full run of Solo—just myself, Craig at the front of the room, and [Rehearsal Pianist] Michael Scales on piano. I can’t remember any specific dance moments or steps that went well or poorly, but I remember looking up from my final position and Craig and I both tearing up. It had been a pressure-filled week, and there was more ahead, but it also felt like a big breakthrough—in myself, in my career, and in our partnership. Solo will always feel like the point at which I got to show a different side of myself as a dancer and a person. I got to show new aspects of my artistry and technique, and I began a beautiful collaboration with Justin as well. But that rehearsal on a random Thursday in Studio 3 at the Rose building will be burned in my memory for a very long time."

_{Portraits and performance photos © Erin Baiano}